Relieved...

Ryan quit his job.
Not exactly good news, in the traditional sense.
But I am fucking thrilled.
It creates a couple new problems for him, obviously, like needing to find a new one and having no income for the moment.

On the other hand, that's why he quit. He was putting in 12 hours 6 days a week and getting no paycheck. I've not seen this kind of bullshit job in a while, if ever. He was killing himself and for awhile it looked like it was paying off. His sales were fantastic. And then he stopped getting appointments. The staff responsible for making them apparently stopped doing their job. Or something.

Anyway, regardless, the job was creating a situation in which weeks would go by with no contact. Not really condusive to having anything reselmbling a relationship. Long distance is hard enough without simply having no contact whatsoever. Infact, I really don't think you can call that a relationship at all.

It was making me nutty. A lot nutty. It was actually worse then being him being unemployed (which i think is what led to him quitting) because he was stuck at this job ALL.....THE.....TIME. He had no time to say....look for something better...or.....say....spend time with friends or family.....or say.....call his girlfriend. lol

In the three months he had the job, he was sick twice. So sick that he actually missed work. That's what little sleep, endless work hours and gas station food will do to ya.

So, yeah, done with that and moving on. I am relieved. Wishing it had worked out better, but glad he is moving on to whatever is next.

They say life is a series of moments...

I dunno who "they" are, but this what they say.

The idea is, perhaps, to enjoy the little things that make you smile and these, strung together, are what makes life truely enjoyable. Especially in the face of hard times and crisis.

Today, my moment is new jammies. Old Navy was having a sale online and I got like four pair of those plaid jammies with some matching tank tops. They were all like 12.99 or 7.99 so I decided to get them and get rid of some of my old jammies. You know, the stuff that is so old it has holes? It's comfortable, sure, but you look like serious white trash.

I love PJs, not necessarily for wearing to bed, but for wearing the minute I come through the door and know I won't be leaving again for the day.

My other moment today will be the hour I spend in Starbucks later today. Thursday is always a busy day for my daughter: Intermurals, two choir practices and swimming lessons. So I do the whole soccer mom thing to the extreme on Thursdays. But, during choir practice, I can run over to Starbucks (a block away), grab a latte, pull out my book (I keep a book in my purse at all times these days because, as the chauffer, I tend to do alot of sitting and waiting) and sit and read for an hour. I don't have enough time to go home and get anything done, I don't have to sit and wait at practice and typically I don't have any shopping to do during this time, so its absolutely just an hour of pure, coffee-and-quiet-music bliss where I don't have to feel like I am needing to be anywhere or get anything done.

Do you think it would be frowned upon if I wore a pair of my new PJs to Starbucks?

Unlearning Passive Agression

Ok, so now for something a bit more heavy than recipies for soup.

I've got issues. Of course, we all have issues, but after being beaten over the head for several months by someone who cares, I've started examining one particularly large issue I have:
Passive Agression.

This is particularly difficult for me to approach, because I hate passive agression in other people. I suppose that's how it typically goes; what we dispise in others is typically our own faults in one shade or another. Still, admitting you have faults is particularly hard for we passive-agressive types. ;)

I came to the conclusion that something has to be done. I need to find a way to identify these things I do before they happen and derail them before then end up hurting my relationships.
Specifically, my relationship with my boyfriend is suffering greatly due in part to this problem.

So far, I've determined that I have a serious habit of deciding to forgo expressing when I dislike something he is doing because I have a real fear of saying no to him. This is a pretty general statement, but it covers a TON of different events over the last year...hell several years. He goes along thinking I'm cool with something and I end up screeching over something far less important and pissing him off. This happens to be THE number one pet peeve for Ryan, the thing he absolutely will not tolerate, so changing it is important to me.

The question is: How? How do you do that?